To be totally honest, I’d put Rafael Albuquerque at the top of that listbut hey I’ll take it. And in the interest of creating balance in one’s life, here’s a list of embarrassing things about myself that will help bring this world back to order:
I once bought the CD ” Pure Moods ” only because I wanted that stupid Enya song. I even bought it off the television because I didn’t think stores had it.
I used to sing Meatloaf songs out loud when I worked at the supermarket as a kid. I’d be out there shagging shopping carts while busting out “Objects in the Rear View Mirror.”
My favorite Disney song was the tune from Robin Hood when all the animals were in jail. To be honest, I still think it’s really good (and sad). And yes I know all the words. And no I will not sing them for you.
I got my sock stuck in my braces in the middle of class once. I was in 5th grade and was a complete dork who wore white tube socks with the double red stripes on them. And they tasted like shit.
I geeked out on Craig Thompson once because I was a major fan of Blankets (still am). I told him that I was working on a book called Off Road (Oni) and that it wasn’t as big as his book. I further embarrassed myself by telling him that if we ever had a book fight, he would win because Blankets was bigger and heavier.
I was drinking this past new years when the actress Anne Heche came up to me and my girlfriend and asked if we were dating. I told Anne Heche that there was no way she was Anne Heche, despite everyone telling me that she was. I denied it for a while before Dan Panosian finally convinced me. Luckily he stopped me from wandering off to find her and apologize (which I was in no condition to do). One day I hope to experience what it’s like for some asshole to insist that I’m not me.
I’m shamefully good at Dance Dance Revolution. And I haven’t played it that often nor do I have rhythm. But it was like Mozart staring at a piano: it just made sense to me.
Sometimes I think about other people who’d I love to be my dad. I’m stuck between Carl Sagan and Hugh Jackman. By the way, there’s nothing wrong with my real dad.