BLOG

I’ve been back from San Diego for less than a week and am still trying to catch up on sleep.  Despite one or two nights when I actually got a bed, the rest of the nights were spent sleeping on the floor, which is cool because it felt very Asian and good for the back.  

The other thing that made it feel extra Asian was that I was surrounded by 12 Asian friends/family of Dustin Nguyen’s.  Even thought it was tight, there was something punk rock about it.  It felt like I was jammed in the bottom of a boat with a bunch of Saigon refugees.

I woke up once to the sound of people talking about the fact that I had chest hair.  My (half awake) insistence that MOST men of European background have chest hair didn’t seem to shake their curiosity or comments.  I also explained that I didn’t have a lot of hair and that I knew men far hairier than I.  But the more I explained about chest hair, ass-goatees and man-scaping, the more fuel I seemed to be giving them.  Me and my chest hair apparently reminded Dustin of Indiana Jones.  I told him that his smooth, youthful Asian features reminded me of Short Round and that if he didn’t let me sleep I’d push him out of a plane WITHOUT a yellow raft.

Then we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Last night (a week later) I was drinking at a bar with my neighbor when, upon looking through the photos on my cell phone, discovered that someone had used it to take pictures of their nuts.  I immediately called my friend Chris in LA (who had put me up for one night at SDCC and is the type to misuse a cell phone in such a way) and accused him, but then I realized the nuts were too smooth to be that of a Jewish/Italian male.  Chris told me that it wasn’t him, and that if the nuts were smooth then they might be the nuts of someone without a lot of body hair.  I suddenly imagined Dustin and his 12 family members taking pictures with my phone and laughing at my lifeless body on the carpet below them, nuts hanging everywhere.

I decided to give up my pursuit, because 12 suspects was too many to go through.  But then my neighbor burst out laughing and admitting he’d taken the photos on the 4th of July.  He got me.  I had to admit, it was funny.  And the only thing I could think to say—while deleting the photos from my phone—was “damn dude…you got some smooth nuts”.

In other news, I’m working on Wolverine D tonight and will post another entry for Art Quest (hopefully people are still interested despite the delays).  Thanks for being patient and not forgetting about your old friend Sean.