My opinion walking in was “this is going to be like being in a strip club, but more artsy and with some fat chicks in corsets who just want attention.” And sure enough, a lot of them were kind of chunky. But it was still a beautiful thing that some women have the courage to put themselves out there like that while knowing full well that they’re not painfully thin like Vogue tells them they should be. And, in my mind, they get extra points because it was in the lower east side of Manhattan where there are tons of skinny girls everywhere.
So anyway, this one girl was dressed as a cop. For most of the show she was sitting by the side of the stage waiting for her turn to dance. And, like the asshole that I am, I noticed she was easily the most horizontally challenged girl in the place. And I thought to myself “god I hope she’s a cop and not a dancer”. And at the end of the night it was her act that would end the show: a routine as a fat cop eating a box of doughnuts.
Even before she started dancing I was already into it. A larger girl getting on stage dressed as a fat cop and attempting to sexily eat doughnuts? That’s fucking punk right there. Way to throw tradition in the face of burlesque.
People cheered like crazy and I was one of them. The cop pulled out a chair and started humping, and we all went nuts again. She tossed the aviator glasses into the crowd and wiped off the fake mustache, and again we applauded. Powdered sugar went everywhere. The best part was when she took the cop shirt off to shake her tassels and one popped off. She accidentally flashed a cop-nipple but didn’t give a shit. So raunchy and disturbing, yet appropriately cool.
And I the last though I had before blacking out was this: if there is intelligent life on other planets, did they everin there unique evolutiongo to burlesque shows and cheer like we were?
I think I’m reading too much Carl Sagan.